


I Never Should Have Stayed

by albions_need_is_greatest



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Arthur Knows About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon Has Magic (Merlin), Canon Era, Canon-Typical Violence, Everyone Is back, M/M, Post-Battle of Camlann (Merlin), Resurrection, This Is Not Going To Go The Way You Think, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, im sorry, or are they
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-15
Updated: 2020-11-15
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:07:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 6,844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27572035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/albions_need_is_greatest/pseuds/albions_need_is_greatest
Summary: After the Battle of Camlaan, Arthur and Merlin thought their troubles would be over. Morgana and the Saxons are defeated, and Arthur sits proudly on the throne with Gwen and Merlin by his side.Albion is at peace, and the citizens are happy.Hell, everyone is happy.For the first time ever, Arthur is finally starting to feel like he's done some good for Camelot.But despite the Alliance, the Pendragon House still has enemies, and Arthur soon finds himself ruling without a queen by his side and predicting things that have not come to pass.When disaster strikes, the pair begin to realise that the price paid for Arthur's return is far greater than they could ever have imagined. Will they be able to keep Albion, and each other, safe? Or will everything they have worked so hard for finally fall apart?
Relationships: Freya/Merlin (Merlin), Gwen/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 13





	1. The Beginning Of The End

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for choosing to read this and I hope you enjoy the story! 
> 
> Before we get underway tho, I've got to mention a few things. 
> 
> Firstly, I do not own Merlin or any characters from Merlin. All of that is owned by the BBC, not by me. Altho that would be amazing, it simply isn't true.
> 
> There WILL NOT be any smut in this, so if that's what you're looking for, then sorry but you're gonna have to go read something else. I don't write that kinda stuff. 
> 
> Saying that there will still be Merthur as a ship, so that's still there.
> 
> There will be angst. I'm gonna say that now, just to get it out of the way. It's gonna be angsty.
> 
> Anywho, pls don't steal the plot, or the story (tho I don't think anyone would tbh) and I hope you enjoy reading! Feel free to leave kudos and comments if you enjoy, the more there are the more motivated I will be to continue writing heaps :)

It had been months since the fatal Battle of Camlaan. Morgana and her Saxons were defeated, Gwen was by his side, and Merlin back to his old self. Being the sarcastic servant Arthur had always loved to have around.

There was peace in the five kingdoms, for the first (and longest) time that Arthur could remember. Despite not having a common enemy, they all stayed strong and united their kingdoms under one name. Albion. There was no tension, trade was flourishing, and the people of the kingdoms could feel it too. Visitors were more frequent, and the people could travel freely without fear of being attacked by the other kings' men.

Gone were all the worried faces, and the fearful whispers behind closed doors. But replaced instead with bright smiles and laughter that could be heard from the citadel itself. Arthur could hear them from his desk, despite the early hour. It was time for the harvest in a few days, and the kingdom was excitedly waiting for this year's feast. Arthur's hair was still messy from sleep, but he was dressed and reading his speech for the banquet while he waited for Merlin to come up with his breakfast, just as he did every morning.

The sun's rays were warm on his back as he sat. Giving him a sense of comfort and of safety. A pleasant change from the cold darkness that used to haunt the walls of Camelot, and shroud everyone within with a sense of isolation like no other.

Arthur put down the parchment and sighed. His eyes glancing to where she usually slept. Gwen had been spending some time with her niece, after discovering Elyan had a daughter with a woman on the outskirts of Camelot, and she wouldn't be back for two days. The bed looked empty without her, but he smiled as he remembered their tearful and joyous conversation from the night before she left. He closed his eyes and leaned back in his chair, in a state of bliss that was only disrupted by his growling stomach.

_Where is that_ _halfwit_ _!?_ He thought to himself. _I swear he's usually here by_ _n-_ -

The doors to his chambers opened and in stepped Merlin. He had been up for hours, Arthur could tell. The smell of polish followed him into the room, as Arthur noticed something just below his hairline. A bit of blood perhaps? A tray of food in his hands, as he saw a very awake Arthur.

"You're... dressed?"

"Your observation skills never cease to amaze me, Merlin." Merlin walked closer, allowing for Arthur to gain a better look at the blood on his forehead. "You're bleeding."

"And your skills never cease to amaze me, sire." He started moving towards the table, and Arthur did not speak. Instead, waiting for merlin to give him an explanation. "Gaius needed his leech tank cleaned this morning. One of them must have attacked me."

"You always seem to be cleaning that thing. Can't you just use magic to do it?"

"Unfortunately Gaius doesn't like me practising my magic even though there are no laws to stop me. Anyway, you're never up this early, Sire. Is everything alright?"

" _Someone_ left the curtains open last night, like an idiot. So I've been up since the crack of dawn," He paused. His stomach twisting. "Maybe if you had done your job properly instead of spending half your time in the tavern, we wouldn't have this issue."

Merlin met Arthur's eyes and gave him his typical smile, to which the pair both broke into laughter. The food was set down at the table, and Arthur gestured for Merlin to have some too. Hoping to distract his guilt with good deeds.

Arthur hated lying to Merlin.

He always had.

But he didn't like seeing Merlin worried, and he knew his nightmares were nothing more than that. Nothing to worry about. He didn't want Merlin to worry about him. And he didn't want to admit what he saw each night out loud.

Sitting across from Merlin, with the people in the town being happy and loud was where he wanted to be. And when Gwen returned, everything would be perfect, like he'd always dreamed.

Everyone was happy.

Arthur was happy.

It just seemed the King's mind hadn't got the message.


	2. The Darkest Hour

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I forgot to mention, this fic is being moved here from Wattpad, as I'm probably just going to change over to a03 completely for the time being. On wattpad my user is TwilightHorsemen (it's a long story) but I'm moving my works over to this account because I find it a tad easier to navigate and every second chapter isn't interrupted by an ad lmao
> 
> Hope you enjoy :)

_Everything was red. The ground, the men before him, the scattered weapons, his chainmail. All turned a crimson red as the sun set at a bloody valley of_ _Camlaan_ _._

_He felt his head spinning, as he looked to the ground in front of him._

_Mordred._

_He was only a boy. He had still been so young. Still been so impressionable. How had he turned out like this? His last words ringing through Arthur's mind echoed throughout the valley. "You gave me no choice."_

_Times flashed by in a second, and Arthur was back in the cells with the young boy. Waiting for a scrawny Merlin to come to help them escape from the city walls. He looked down to the child next to him. Seeing the fear in Mordred's eyes as he had never seen before. The clanging of metal from guards coming to greet them as he stepped in front of the boy, preparing to fight his father's own men if necessary to help bring the druid boy back to his own people. Rustling outside the grate caused Arthur to turn around, only to be greeted by a pale face. "Merlin! What kept_ _y--_ _"_

_He was standing in the throne room. His father sitting in front of him on the throne, as Morgana was announced missing. "Yes father," he heard himself saying. Hooves pounded the forest floor as he and his men raced towards the Druid camp. They soon arrived, and he saw himself go off to find Morgana, all the while being led somewhere else. He saw Merlin and Mordred, or more accurately, Merlin using his magic to help the boy get away once and for all._

_A coldness like no other swept over him as he saw himself sleeping in the snow. Merlin staying awake to protect him from Mordred in the distance. For the first time, he saw Mordred give Merlin some food to eat, only for Merlin to scoff at it. He remembered how hungry he was that day. How he was weak, and how he needed strength and food. It almost seemed like Mordred had only wanted to help._

_The Disir stood in front of him, and he fumbled to catch the coin which he knew decided his fate. He saw Gwaine anger the Disir from the corner of his eye, and a blur passed in front of him and protected him from the_ _Disir's_ _deathly spear. Mordred. He'd just saved the king's life, and he felt the joy when he saw the citadel in front of him, Mordred coming out of the front entrance with a beaming smile._

_The smile soon faded. The joy no longer felt in Arthur's mind. He saw Kara and Mordred in their cell, the love that they held for each other was like no other. He saw the guards, coming to get her. He stood, frozen. Heard Kara's voice from the courtyard, and saw himself, through the small iron window, give the signal to let her hang. Mordred's scream pierced through the air. After all he had done for Arthur, this is how he had been_ _repaid_ _._

_Arthur found himself back at_ _Camlaan_ _once more. His breath hitching in his throat as Mordred's sword pierced through his armour._

Arthur woke with a start. Almost jumping out of his skin, as his hand reached for where there should have been a deep wound in his side.

Nothing was there but a scar. There was no blood, no sword, no Mordred.

As his breathing began to slow, tears started pooling in his eyes. He let them fall, as he spoke out loud, a dull realisation pulsing through him.

"I gave him no choice."


	3. The Hunters' Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Something's up with Arthur, but what is it exactly????

As tradition stated, the day before the harvest feast, Arthur and his knights went on a hunt to clear their minds and to try to catch some decent deer for the people of Camelot to enjoy. The quiet of the forest, spare for the footsteps of the hunters and the rustling of the wind in the trees brought Arthur back to a calm centre. He could feel the sword at his side. His dagger on his other hip. His breathing was calm, for the first time in days, and his mind was focused on the task at hand. 

Since he had been a young knight, the thing he loved most about his duties were the hunts. They allowed him to get out of the walls of the citadel, even if only for half a day, and put his skills to the test to show himself how far he was progressing. 

He stopped, holding up his hand as a sign for everyone to stop. Something, no, someone, in the back of his mind was telling him that there was something up ahead. He couldn't see anything, but this person knew it was there. It rang through his mind like a whisper, unknown yet strangely familiar, almost sounding like-- _No._ he told himself firmly. _That's impossible._

Arthur shook his head slightly, proceeded with caution. Minimising his noise to the best that he could. He made to go left, and the voice started up. _These idiots are gonna go left. They always do. What actual_ clotpoles _when the_ deer _is_ _ **right**_ _there._ Glancing back at Merlin, Arthur could see that, just as they had been the whole trip, Merlin's lips were sealed.

He listened to the voice, and to his amazement, a deer stood, staring at them from the clearing ahead. Beautiful and so fragile, yet the group knew they were a creature to be respected. Merlin handed Arthur a crossbow, the arrow already loaded. 

_You know,_ Arthur thought to himself. _Merlin's getting quite good at this._

Arthur was right, too. When Merlin had first started coming on hunts with Arthur, he was possibly the clumsiest hunter Arthur had ever known. He was always stumbling or tripping over branches and roots, and he always managed to alert the prey to where he was. On those hunts, it was highly unlikely that Arthur would return to Camelot with any success. 

After several of those such trips, Arthur decided he should take it into his own hands to improve Merlin's stealth. He and Merlin started to go hunting, just the two of them, so Merlin could get some practice without the prying eyes of the other men. 

Arthur took the shot, and the calm air was filled with the sound of the arrow finding its target. Within minutes, they had the deer and some smaller game from earlier and began headed back to the citadel before the sunlight faded away and left them tripping over each other in the dark. 

That night, as Merlin drew his bath, Arthur could not help but wonder about the day he had. Who was the voice in the forest? Was it just someone far away or was it his own thoughts from years of practice? How did no one else hear it? And why on earth did it sound like M--

"My Lord?" Arthur turned around to see a worried Merlin. "I've been talking to you for the past ten minutes, did you not hear what I was saying?"

"I must have zoned out for a second. What were you saying?" 

"Nevermind, Sire. Your bath water's ready."

"Nonsense," Arthur said, stepping into the tub. He could see the disappointment visible on Merlin's face. "What was it you were saying? I can see from your face that it must have been important."

Merlin ignored the question as he helped scrub down the king. Working silently as the tension in the air around them grew. They never kept anything from each other anymore. But still, he decided to keep his thoughts to himself, in a way glad the king hadn't heard his words. 

_Magic may not be outlawed anymore but it is still frowned upon by many,_ thought merlin to himself. Even if Arthur had heard him in the forest, the people could never know that Arthur had these sorts of abilities. And it was better that Arthur didn't know about them either. 

_These times were still dangerous, even for a king._


	4. With All My Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a warning: There is a character death in this chapter. She's a major character in the show, but is only really featured in this chapter of the fic

They day of the harvest feast came, and Arthur found himself in the courtyard, waiting for his queen, and with the entire royal court stood behind him, it was truly a magnificent sight.

The sun gleaming off the armour of the Knights. Their swords at their belts causing the sun's rays to hit the walls of the citadel in new ways every minute that passed. The red cloaks or Camelot seemed the brightest they had ever been, worn proudly under a midday sun.

As the clipping of hooves drew nearer, Arthur's posture straightened. His head lifted that little bit higher, once he saw the white of Guinevere's horse enter the courtyard. It took all of his will power not to run up to her horse and pull her down from it, pulling her in close so he knew she was safe once again in Camelot.

***

As Gwen caught sight of the castle steps, the royal court waiting for her, her heart beat faster. All her life she had struggled against the authorities, struggled against the rules as she spent her days chasing after every command her superiors had for her.

If only her father could see her now.

With a Kingdom in front of her, standing beside Arthur as he and Merlin and Gwen helped Camelot become the land of Albion which so many had looked forward to.

She had a life that, ten years ago she would not have thought was possible. There were some days she still couldn't believe how lucky she was.

And now, with Arthur's child, she could not help but imagine the life she had ahead. Sure there would be some restless nights, and a lot of worrying, but having a child, someone small to teach and to love and care for, it was the next step in a better Albion.

But she didn't have time to focus on the future, for right now there was a feast that had to be prepared.

***

"May I have your attention," Arthur spoke, standing up from his place say the table. "Tonight marks a very special night. Not only is it the celebration of a successful harvest, but also the six month anniversary of Albion's victory against Morgana and the Saxons at the battle of Camlaan."

Arthur paused slightly, the voice in his head ringing through clear as day.

_For someone who doesn't mention her, shes brought up quite a lot._

He shook his head slightly, and continued on.

"I know how troubling that time was for so many of us all. There were many lives I only wish we could have saved. Some of our bravest men, Sir Bedivere, Sir Lot, Sir Gwaine..."

_Of course Gwaine is mentioned last. He means the most out of all of them._ The voice interjects, over the top of Arthur's speech.

"...Were lost in the fight and tonight we honour their memories. But that is not all."

_I'd hope not, the best bit hadn't even been mentioned._

Arthur stops again, gesturing for Gwen to stand by his side as they announce their child to the court for the first time. Using the opportunity to glance around the room, seeing Merlin be exactly where he is meant to be. Not having moved a muscle at all. Weird because Arthur could swear the voice sounded lik---

Arthur pushed all his mind to ignore the voice in the back of his mind once and for all. It was just his imagination. Nothing more. He took Gwen's hand in his own, linking their fingers before continuing to address the court.

***

Merlin's mind raced, sensing strong magic just outside the dining halls doors. He looked around. There was no way to warn anyone. He was stood almost directly behind Arthur's seat. With all eyes on Arthur, there was nothing he could do to warn the king. Nothing except--

_Sire._

"My beautiful queen,

_Sire, you need to leave_

"Lady Guinevere, and I

_Sure, take Gwen and run_

"Are both extremely proud

_Theres someone there. Run, sire. Run_

"And excited to announce--"

With a bang, the doors crashed open. noone in the room having any time to process what was happening as the hooded figure snatched up a loaded crossbow and shot at the queen.

Everyone watched in horror as the arrow found its mark, sinking deep into the queen's chest. Gwen fell, Arthur going down with her as he cradled her head in his lap.

The man in the door holding up his hands in a surrender while he spoke.

"A tooth for a tooth, an eye for an eye, a wife for a wife. Our quarrel here is done, Arthur Pendragon. I told you it was I who would deal the last blow, and now our war is done. Do not try find me, for you will not. My time here," the man pulled out a dagger, aiming it at his chest. "My time here is done."

As the last hope for Gwen's justice faded away, Arthur turned his full attention back to his wife. Tears pooling in his eyes, threatening to spill at any moment.

Her breath was weak.

Her skin pale.

Her dress turning a crimson red.

A crimson so familiar, almost like he had seen it before.

Her voice was so small that Arthur barely heard her speak.

"Arthur, please remember I love you."

He nodded, unable to speak. His throat closing up as he found it harder and harder to breathe.

"I love you, Arthur," She looked him in the eyes, smiling up at him one last time. "With all my heart."


	5. The Queen Of Hearts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I legitimately forgot how angsty I was planning on making this fic.... I am truly sorry for how much angst there is going to be. It's a lot

_With all my heart._

Arthur sat up in his bed. The empty mattress next to him a reminder of his loss.

Gwen's words reminding him of a truth he dare not speak. What kind of man does not tell his wife he loves her with all his heart just as she dies? What kind of man looks at his dying wife and is unable to say anything at all cause he is too distracted by the voice in his head?

It was bad enough his mind kept him awake, he didn't need the silence of his chambers, or the cold space beside him. He needed to get out.

It had been two weeks since The Incident, as he called it, and he had barely slept. A pain he had never felt before, so different to when he had watched his father died in his arms, filled him almost to the brim. A sense of loneliness so deep it would shame the great waters of Avalon. A sense of guilt so profound he found himself awake at all hours of the night.

He should have saved her.

He had the chance.

The voice in his head knew what was going to happen.

He knew that something was going to happen.

And yet he did nothing.

And now all he wanted was that space next to him filled. But deep down, he knew his heart did not mean Gwen.

That was the worst feeling of all.

The curtains at Arthur's window blocked out the moonlight, making it more difficult for Arthur to stumble his way to the door.

Sword in hand, Arthur headed towards the Armoury. At least there he could get away from the thoughts inside his head. At least there he could distract himself from his mind, from life, from the citadel itself even if only for a minute.

Just one minute.

One minute to get Gwen to safety and save her.

One minute to listen to the voice telling him what to do.

One minute to tell Gwen the truth and noone would get hurt.

One minute was all he needed.

But instead he found one minute was enough to cause pain beyond imagine.

Enough to cause confusion beyon--

"Couldn't sleep?"

Arthur did a double take, as he saw Merlin sitting at a bench in the armoury. Polishing Arthur's chainmail well into the night.

"Why are you still working, Merlin?"

"Because you've got a knighting ceremony tomorrow, and your armour needs to be polished for it," Merlin said, glancing up at his king for the first time that night. "I'd say you could do it, but you are a clotpole so I better do it instead."

"Why don't you just use magic to do it? I mean, surely it would save you a lot of time and effort?"

"Sometimes the efforts from working are enough to keep our mind at bay."

"You miss her too."

"Of course, my lord. She was my queen, and a wonderful friend," Merlin stopped what he was doing, staring further into the distance, as if looking back into a time that once was. "She was one of the first people I met after arriving in Camelot. I could tell from the start she had a kind heart and I thought she would go far and make her father proud, and she did just that. She was the kindest person I have ever known, always caring about those around her, doing small things for people just to make their day. You were lucky to have her, sire. She loved you very much."

"If I'm honest, I always thought she would have been better off with Lancelot," Arthur looked down, regretting his words as soon as he had spoke them.

"My lord?"

"What have I told you, Merlin, it's just Arthur."

Merlin rolled his eyes at the king. "Arthur, what do you mean?"

"Nothing, Merlin." Arthur's hand came up to his neck to hide the heat he could feel rising. Merlin was always able to read him like a book, but there were some things that not even a close friend could know. "It would have just been a life of less pressure. A simpler life."

"Of course, sire." Arthur shot Merlin with a pointed glance. "Of course, Arthur."

The two men looked at each other, the tension in the room growing as the silence filled the air. Unasked questions and shared sorrows surrounded the pair. Arthur was the first to break gaze, handing Merlin a sword.

"Come on Merlin, grab a shield and follow me. Forget work, a good training session will clear your mind."

"Arthur it's the middle of the night."

"Exactly. Let's go."


	6. Valiant

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a shorter one but the boys be training late at night ;-;

Quickly, this became their routine.

Each night, Arthur would lie awake, thinking about him and about Gwen. About the life he could have had. And each night, he would reach a point where he knew he could not rest. Where he knew his mind was racing too much to stay in bed.

It was at those times he would make his way to the armoury all those floors below.

Where no matter what day, he would find Merlin. Swords and shields in hand as they made their way to the training yard outside. The night did not stop them, nor the cold. Just as it had not tonight.

"Left, right, shield, body, shield, head."

Arthur managed to deflect Merlin's blows, and dodge the final swipe Merlin had had at his head. He sure had come a long way over the past few weeks, he was even on the offence sometimes now.

"C'mon Sire," Merlin teased. "Am I that good you don't even want to TrY and beat me?" Merlin walked closer to Arthur, never truly staying in the same spot for too long.

Arthur took a step forward, readying himself as he twirled his sword in his hand. Prepared to strike as soon as Merlin got into his zone.

Arthur took the final step, dealing blow after blow with each of his words.

"What. _*shield*_ Have. * _body*_ I. * _body*_ Said. * _left_ * About. * _shield_ * Calling. * _body_ * Me. * _right_ * Sire?" * _head*_

Merlin fell to the ground with the final hit, his helmet coming off to lie just behind him.

Arthur stood above him as they both caught their breaths, the tip of his sword pressing into Merlin's chest. "Well?"

"My Lo-- Arthur?"

"Exactly. It's just Arthur."

The king offered his arm to Merlin, and helped pull him to his feet. Both of them forgetting to move apart as they started at each other for what seemed an eternity.

Arthur had always loved Merlin's eyes. There was something about them, ever since they'd first met all those years ago, that made Arthur feel safe. Feel welcomed. Something about merlin made him gwell at home. Almost made him want to fall in-

"It's almost morning, we should probably go back and get some rest." Arthur broke his gaze, stepping away, as the voice started up.

_Oh, we? Plural? Never knew you felt the same way I did._

"What way?" Arthur answered out loud. Not thinking about what he was doing but instead instantly regretting it, glancing up to Merlin to hope he had not heard.

Merlin met Arthur's gaze in an instant. "You heard that?!"

"You're the voice?!?"

"How could you hear that? It's not possible," Merlin's blood rushed to his face, thinking back to all those times he'd wanted to comfort Arthur, all those times he'd looked at him in a different light, the hunting trips, the ceremonies where he wished he could sit next to Arthur as an equal. Those times when he'd thought what it would be like to have a life with the Once and Future King.

Surely Arthur couldn't know about any of that. Surely he would have brought it up. Right? Right?? Merlin's mind was racing, as the night suddenly got colder and colder and darker and more like he was drowning into a sea of white noise.

Time slowing down as he felt his body give up on him.

The last thing he saw before hitting the ground was Arthur rushing to catch him as he fell.


	7. Sweet Dreams

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let the Merthur begin

Merlin awoke to a seemingly unfamiliar room. His eyes opening to see dark red fabric draped along what appeared to be the ceiling... although they did look like the drapes that hung off the top of the King's bed.

Merlin quickly realised the bed he was in was not his own. It was too soft. There were too many blankets. Too many pillows. He tried to sit up, hoping it would help him remember how he had got here, and in doing so managed to wake the slightly sleeping man that had been sitting next to him the whole time.

"Merlin," Arthur said, his eyes adjusting to the light. "You're awake. Took you long enough."

Merlin looked around, still confused. All his suspicions had been right. He was indeed, in Arthurs bed.

"Sire, how did I-- Why am I?"

"Firstly, it's Arthur. I've told you that so many times it's unbelievable. And secondly, you passed out. It was late and I didn't want to wake Gaius but I knew I couldn't leave you alone."

"So you brought me... here."

"Yes, Merlin. Another one of your fine deductions."

"And you let me sleep in your bed."

"You're making it sound awfully complicated. But yes."

Merlin his his smile. For so many years he had secretly hoped that he would one day wake up in this room, but he had never imagined it like this. And in his fantasies Arthur had always lay beside him.

"And you slept in a chair."

"To be fair, Merlin, I wasn't planning on sleeping at all. That bit just happened. But I thought you would prefer the space."

_oh you prat._ Merlin sighed, Laughing internally at just how stupid his king could be. _surely you must realise I'd rather you be in the bed_

"Is that so?"

"I, uhh-" Merlin flushed bright red. The events of last night before he passed out coming back to him in fragments. Arthur could hear him. Everything he said sarcastically, and not sarcastically, to Arthur in his mind, the king could hear. There was no going back. He'd really pushed himself into this one.

Normally Arthur would smirk at how flustered Merlin had been getting around him lately. He'd make a witty one liner and that would be it.

It could all just be left in the past, and neither of their lives would change.

But in the back of his mind, Arthur knew that this wasn't the time for a witty one liner. All the times he had rolled over to feel the cold next to him while he slept, it was not Gwen he wished would fill that warmth.

All the times he could not sleep and felt himself worrying and growing more anxious about what the future may hold, there was only one person he could truly turn to. Hell, there was only one person he wanted to turn to.

All the times he was walking through the castle and heard the voice in his head - Merlin's voice - saying something about him, his heart soared. There truly was something about Merlin that made Arthur feel at home. And he was pretty damn certain Merlin felt the same way towards him.

Merlin remained frozen, his face as red as the cloak Arthur wore to battle, as Arthur broke the silence.

"Well then, move over."

"Arthur?"

"Move over, Merlin. You're on MY side of the bed."

Merlin scooted over to the other side, as the king stood up from his seat and got underneath the covers. It was still far too early on the morning to do anything important, and so there was no use getting up anyway.

Arthur looked over at Merlin, who seemed frozen in his place through sheer anxiety. Scarcely breathing as though he might annoy the pendragon next to him.

"Merlin, calm down. You're that anxious from overthinking this, I may as well call you Virgil."

"It's just-"

"It's just nothing, Merlin. You need rest, you look exhausted and I'm sure we could both do with a few hours sleep."

Merlin nodded, already fading into an easy sleep after he had been told he could do so. It was true. He needed rest. Managing one last phrase before he drifted off.

"Sweet dreams, my lord."

Arthur smiled at the sorcerer next to him, who had quickly fallen back to sleep.

"Sweet dreams, Merlin."


	8. The WItche's Quickening

When Arthur woke, the bed next to him was cold. His hand only met empty air as his mind began to race. Had it all been a dream? Or worse, had he managed to push Merlin away once and for all? He cursed under his breath. He shouldn't have brought Merlin here. He'd acted selfishly and now there was no way Merlin would ever want anything to do with Arthur, perhaps he'd even quit his job, and what then? Arthur couldn't bare the thought. Not now. Not ev--

"Rise and shine!"

A bright and chirpy voice pulled Arthur back into reality, faking an annoyed groan as he rolled over to see Merlin shrouded by the sunlight coming in from the window. "Why are you up so early? How did I not notice you wake?"

"I'm not exactly up early, sire. It's half past ten in the morning."

"Well then I obviously don't have anything important to do so why did you wake me?"

"I've been trying to do so the last hour, my lord," Arthur glanced up at the formal title. "You wouldn't budge. So I told the council you had rescheduled the meeting for tomorrow."

"You know Merlin, there are times when I truly do think you may have half a brain."

"Well that's half a brain more than you, sire."

Arthur smirked, his eyes narrowing as he stared at the man in front of him. Just this once, he thought, Merlin could wait a bit until he learnt his lesson. Just this once, patience was on the King's mind.

"No quick come back, Arthur?"

"Well at least that time you called me by my name," Arthur stopped, thinking for a moment. "You said you moved my plans until tomorrow, correct?"

"That is correct."

"So that means I have the rest of today free then?"

"Yes, Arthur."

"Good. Prepare the horses, pack some supplies for lunch."

"What's the occasion?"

"You'll find out when we get there."

"Oh, we? Who's we? Some fancy princess caught your eye?"

"Don't be stupid, Merlin. You'll only be preparing two horses. Meet me in the courtyard within the hour."

An hour later, Arthur and Merlin were riding through the Darkling Woods, smiles on their faces becoming brighter as they got further away from the citadel and their daily responsibilities.

"You know, Arthur, this might be easier if I knew where we were going."

"You'll know soon enough Merlin," Arthur said, nudging his horse to go faster as he overtook Merlin and galloped into the distance. Merlin sped up, and soon he and Arthur were in a part of the woods Merlin wasn't sure he'd ever seen. The two men slowed down, coming to stop in a beautiful clearing.

A thin lake ran by one side, with all manner of pebbles and rocks next to it. The sun's rays shining off the surface of the water. There were trees all around, and shrubbery providing the clearing with some privacy, and flowers all through the grass and around the edges of the space. Birds flew freely overhead, and the sun warmed the earth, and the two men that stood in the centre.

Merlin turned away from Arthur, stuck in awe of his surroundings.

"Arthur, this, this is beautiful. Everything about this place is just so..."

"Alive?"

"Alive." Merlin shocked that Arthur and he had had the same thought.

"Every leaf, every branch, every bird I hear and every ray of sunlight just is so alive. It reminds me of something you once said to me. About sacred sites of the old religion, and how they were always so alive in their surrounds," Arthur moved closer to Merlin, reaching out to touch his shoulder, before changing his mind. "But as beautiful as this is, it wasn't the only thing I wished to show you."

"Then what is it, Arthur?" Merlin spun around to Arthur, only to see him looking down towards the ground, almost as if he had disappointed someone he loved. "You know you can tell me anything, right? I'll always be here for you. Nothing can ever change that."

"How are you so sure?"

"Arthur Pendragon, I have been by your side since the moment I walked into Camelot. I have fought witches, griffins, bandits, trolls, sidhe, and entire armies for you. I have devoted so much of my time to you, and I care for you. I trust you with my life. I told you about my sorcery and I was there when I thought you had died. I never gave up hope. I have always been by your side and I am not planning on leaving it any time soon."

Arthur looked up to Merlin, a faint smile on his lips.

"So Arthur, please, what is it you wished to show me?"

Arthur glanced down, and closed his hand into a fist. Feeling power and pure energy coursing through his veins as he felt his eyes flash gold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all please lemme know what you think! Arthur has magic, but what other surprises lay in store as a result of his survival after Camlaan?


	9. The Once And Future Queen

Merlin stared down at Arthur's hands, and the small flame that danced between his palms. Trying desperately to think of something to say, yet his mind was rushing the speed of light, and refused to form words.

Ever since Arthur had returned from Avalon, Merlin knew there was something different about him. The way he acted, treating the natural world and those that lives in it with much more care than he had before. How he heard the things Merlin said in his mind, and how he reacted to them like something new was awoken inside of him. But now this?

Merlin had never thought in his wildest dreams that Arthur would ever have magic. It shouldn't be possible. Not in a million years. And yet, Merlin couldn't help but wonder at the man in front of him.

"Arthur, that's incredible."

"You're not running away?"

"You thought I would run away?"

Arthur looked down at the ground once more, silent in embarrassment. Frustrated at himself for ever doubting Merlin.

"Oh you prat. I could never run away from you, Arthur. You're my best friend, you ass."

"Only your best friend?" Arthur queried, standing up at last, and closing the gap between him and Merlin. A soft smile on his lips.

"I--- Arthur?" Merlin was suddenly finding breathing very difficult, and found himself taking a step towards Arthur, as if he was being drawn by some unknown force. Very quickly the pair were face to face, so close that anyone who saw them would immediately get the wrong idea.

"What would you say to being more than just... best friends?" Or the right idea, as it would seem. 

"More than just--"

"Yes, Merlin."

"But that would mean--"

Arthur chuckled under his breath, amused at the speechless state he had Merlin in. This was possibly the first time ever Merlin had been quiet for more than two minutes. "Yes, Merlin, you know what I'm asking."

Merlin's mind filled with joy. Every inch of him ready to sing and laugh and ascend to the heavens. Ever since he arrived in Camelot, he knew Arthur was special. Not just to Camelot, Not just to Albion, but to him. He had loved Arthur ever since he drank from the poisoned goblet those many years ago. And now, Arthur felt the same way, and he could barely believe his luck. Maybe his destiny was now to make Arthur happy, and stand with him as more than just a servant, or a friend. He was so lost in his thoughts, he forgot Arthur, staring into Merlin's eyes and becoming increasingly confused.

"You still haven't said anything, Merlin. I don't have any sort of ans--"

Arthur's words died in his throat as Merlin's lips pressed into his. Everything around them slowly fading away as they dived deeper into the kiss. The pair only pulling away when they realised neither of them had remembered to breathe.

"So that's a yes."

"Yes, Arthur. It's a--" Merlin took a step back, creating distance between him and Arthur as he glanced into the woods behind them. "Something's wrong. Listen."

"I don't hear anything."

"Exactly, Arthur. It's too quiet." Arthur's face fell as he reached for excalibur. The meaning of Merlin's words becoming clear, but he was too late. Three horses leapt into the clearing, their riders all dressed in black. The same crest on their cloaks as the coward who had killed his queen. Arthur froze, as that night flooded back to him.

_The members of the court, listening as he made his toast._

_Merlin's voice, warning him of the danger._

_Him ignoring the warnings._

_Crimson blood, pooling on Guinevere's dress._

_The light in her eyes, beautiful, fading away._

_The pain in her voice._

_I love you, Arthur. With all my heart._

Why hasn't he said it back? He had loved her. Hadn't he? He had made her his queen. So he must have, but now, it was not the memory of her lips on his that was fresh in his mind. It was not her smile that made everything bearable. Not her face that lit up the room.

Arthur sank to the ground, feeling sick to his stomach, hands shaking and breath rapid as tears flowed freely down his cheeks. Nothing made sense, as the fighting around him turned silent just as quickly as it had begun. A voice in the distance, a blur, shaking his shoulders and trying to tell him something. He focused, as hard as he could, but nothing would work. His breathing would not slow, and it felt as if the world was crushing him. Taking the breath from his body and making him think about everything he had done.

"My lord, I must take you back to Camelot," Leon said, putting his hand on Arthur's shoulder and crouching down to meet his eyes. He could see the fear, the worry in them. "My lord, please. Allow me to help you back to Camelot."

"Merlin. Where's Merlin?!"

"My lord, you must come with me."

"I need to find Merlin!" Arthurs eyes swept the empty clearing. Merlin was no where to be seen. "Where is he, Leon? Where did they go? I'm not going back without Merlin!"

"My lord," Leon trailed off, hearing pounding hooves in the distance. There was every chance they were returning, this time to finish the job. "Arthur, please forgive me."

"For wha--" Arthur fell, mid sentence, as Leon stood up. The king's safety was his priority. Even if Arthur didn't want it to be.

"Off we go to Camelot, My Lord."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What has happened to Merlin? Who are the mysterious knights that keep attacking Arthur? Why is Leon so insistent on getting Arthur back to Camelot? Next update coming soon :)


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